Meet Suchitra Bahuguna* – a vivacious 30 something professional leading a team providing content to overseas buyers – someone who has always topped all the classes, always brimming with confidence and exuding an air of quiet efficiency. In so many ways, I used to think, Suchitra perpetually dressed for the corporate kill replete with her laptop and ever busy blackberry was the smiling face of India Inc. itself.
When Suchitra walked into her office the other day and couldn’t log on to her desktop, she knew something was amiss. And, when she was informed that she too had become a statistic on the list of those laid off, following the drying up of overseas work, the world around her simply collapsed. Surely pink slips was a phenomenon that one read about, something that happened to others?
“I could barely hear what HR was telling me. My heart was pumping at an abnormal rate. I was on the verge of tears. Imagine, me Suchitra, who has never ever failed or shirked in giving all that I do my best, being quietly shown the door. Oh God, I was thinking? Why me? Why now? Why can’t I get just one more month to sort things out and exit with my head held high?”
“It really wasn’t about the money. I had enough stashed away in savings accounts. The option of going back to the parents in the hills for chilling out was also very much there. It was a blow to the self esteem. The punch in the solar plexus that took my breath away was because the move was robbing me of my self esteem and my ego was wailing at the top of her voice, silently screaming.”
“I remember the first couple of days (and nights) after I lost my job. It’s like I would sleep for 12 hours and still feel restless and tired. The head ache became a constant drone and even the thought of eating would make me feel nauseated. God knows how much weight I lost. I dreaded going out in the fear that people would point fingers and pass comments about me being a loser. I hated every time the phone rang thinking it to be a call from someone mocking me in the guise of a friend. I know I was sinking deeper and deeper into depression.”
Job Loss: More Than a Financial Issue
When a person is faced with such trauma as job loss, such physical symptoms are not uncommon. Studies have shown that trauma puts you at a higher risk for depression, anxiety, problems with drugs and alcohol, and illness, and I have come across many who go through exactly what Suchitra went through, albeit in different doses.
What truly threatens one’s health is the tendency to “somaticise” feelings, says experts. This happens when the anxiety and stress brought on by devastation are expressed through the body. Headaches, loss of appetite, hypertension and ulcers are the usual signs.
Suchitra, the warrior, the winner finally came out of the situation with a little help from a friend who refocused Suchitra and helped her channel her emotional energies to pick up the scraps and regain herself esteem. Initially, she was ,merely dwelling on her difficulties and became too overwhelmed to function. But she bounced back, regaining enough emotional balance to commit to solving her problems.
When you lose a job, you should update your resume, network like mad and redo your finances. But before you can get “business like” about your job search, you have to deal with the emotional challenge of job loss. I have been through various papers and consulted many a renowned shrink on how to cope with the trauma that inevitably accompanies the pink slips. While different people put stress on different aspect and opinion about the amount too is far from uniform, the following steps have been proven antidotes :
Write about how you feel.
One study conducted by researchers established that , men who had lost their jobs found work significantly faster if they wrote about the experience for 30 minutes a day for five consecutive days. Translating upsetting experiences into language not only diffuses intense emotions, but changes the way you view experiences, opine experts. It helps you develop perspective on your motives, thoughts, feelings and reactions.
Recapture your self-esteem.
Many people succumb to old prejudices about the unemployed when they are laid off. They think, “There must be something wrong with me. I can’t hold a job.” Such attitudes chip away at your self-esteem. To rebuild self-confidence, making a list of everything you do well and like about yourself is a great help. Describe successful assignments or projects. Asking co-workers and managers for letters of appreciation about how great it was to work with you is another great upper. This collection of samples, credentials and endorsements will help you develop an appreciation for your experience and skills. And yes, don’t forget to remind yourself from time to time that you are actually, God’s gift to mankind.
Find the lessons in your loss.
Every situation, however bad has something to teach us. When things go wrong, we tend to shut ourselves out, to insulate and be in a cocoon. This is not exactly advisable. For, if we do not go back to the debris, we will not be able to pick up the valuable clues leave alone solve the problem.
Practice empathy for difficult situations and people.
It is important to understand how others think and act. Remember, no body will give you a job because you need it. You will get the job only when the employer understands that you are capable of solving their problems, of filling their needs. Once you have recovered from the emotional aspects of job loss, you can direct your energy to searching for work. When you go on interviews go after having done your homework – you’ll be more relaxed, in control and self-confident.
As opposed to some other developed nations where the mobility between jobs is relatively higher, in India the trauma accompanying a job loss is much more severe. We as a people are loyal and our mind frames are yet not attuned to frequent changes – either self induced or forced. Add to it another factor – the increasing fragmentation of families – victims seldom have the family to fall back on for support, be that emotional or financial and the problem begins to look real menacing.
As we ingrate into the global economic order we must brace ourselves up for more and more such traumas. And the whole system of mental constitution of the work force should not only be mapped, but conscious corporate entities should have ready modules to assist those in the need as and when it arises.
* name changed